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Rumour The Grand Order Of The Last Porker

Discussion in 'Rumours & Gossip' started by Lina, Dec 1, 2015.

  1. Lina Voluntary Assistant Chief

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    Studies are turned into pigsties! The air is filled with oinks and screams! The Bolgers may be on the warpath! Learn more about the latest porknanigans in Songburrow!

    Neighbours in the fair village of Songburrow have never had such grand gossip-times since, well, last week or so. But then them always were a nosy lot.

    Anyways, the last year, whisperings of repeated heated exchanges between the inhabitants of Songburrow Hall have spread like wildfire through the local population. The apparent source of the disagreements is a long-running discussion (or, rather, quite a quarrel) about whether the Hall should be developed further, among other things to to house a new study, a proper workbench, a searing hot forge and (not least) a well-stocked pigsty. The discussions do not cover an extension of the mushroom tent anymore, since this actually occurred when most of the Hall inhabitants were busy travelling elsewhere earlier this fall.

    Debates over the other developments are still brisk, though, and the opposing viewpoints are firmly in either the "this needs to happen" or the "over my dead body" camps. Naturally, the village gossipers gleefully embrace all tales of underhand tactics employed to either furter or stop the developments, including sneak-hiring of workers to carry out the work, stealing of work plans, bribes and blackmail.

    The arguments apparently peaked this weekend, when one villager swore that he saw a live pig being delivered to Songburrow Hall, with "promises of at least five more to come". Given that no pigsty has been built yet, one can only wonder where the little oinker is housed.

    News of the Songburrow porkfestation have apparently lead to worries among the farmers in Budgeford. The Budgeford Bolgers have long been steady suppliers of prime pork to Songburrow Hall, "their grand long-standing customers". One particularly peeved pig-farmer said over an ale at the inn that if "incomes drop because those rotters up in Songburrow start breedin' their own food", he'd head over there to release the pigs into the village and make a right mess of things. The local bounders were nearby when the threat was made, but too relaxed after their own ales to take any further action whatsoever.

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    Last edited by Lina, Dec 1, 2015
    Lully, Pycella, Mollywobbles and 6 others like this.
  2. Rubysue Member

    I'm not so sure about the "Last Porker" part, Miss Lina. Lost Porker maybe!

    I came out me front door this morning and what did I see? Tibba's pig... or so I thought.

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    Well, he seemed friendly enough, so I got me a rope and led him back over ter Songburrow Hall where I tied him to the apple tree. But then, looking up, I saw his cousin over helpin' herself to some fruit on the picnic table!

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    Of course, I scolded her and ran her off. Then I went inside, figuring I best have a quick pint after all the pig'citement. What do ya figure I saw soon as I set foot across the threshold? Yup...

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    And just beyond that one was yet another, helpin' itself to a bite o' George's cheese!

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    It surely seems to me that something needs to be done so's to contain these porkers, fine specimens as they seem to be. They are wandering all over Songburrow, seemingly. And, um... I think we need some food for 'em too, they certainly seem to be hungry li'l fellers.
    Lully, Mollywobbles, Tibba and 6 others like this.
  3. Rubellita Member

    I don't suppose they like to eat flowers, like our ponies do?
  4. Tibba Voluntary Assistant Chief

    Oh, just feed them Miss Lully's turnips for now. But you are right, we really need that sty quickly!
    Still, I am glad my order is finally coming in!
    Potty likes this.
  5. Lina Voluntary Assistant Chief

    The little oinker even snuck out of the study during the last Mathom tale night. I am halfway surprised it didn't start nibbling on the yule decorations too while on the loose *mutters*
    Potty likes this.
  6. Rubysue Member

    I know! I was sittin' there, all wrapped up with the mathom story being told and I noticed Miss Tibba get up and walk over my direction. Well, I turned to see what she was doin' and 'bout jumped outa me skin when I saw that li'l piggy standin' not far away. It's a good thing them seem to be even tempered li'l fellers and Miss Tibba rounded it up and shooed it back down deeper into tha Hall where she's got that temporary sty going.
    Potty likes this.

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